Tuesday, August 22, 2017

The Hills Have Eyes!

Okay MAYBE I just couldn't think of what to title this exactly.

For some DUMB reason, every time I make the 30 mile drive up the hill... into the trees... I freaking remember that movie and it ruins it for me. I don't need little demon hill song creatures jumping out at me at night. But you know, that's paranoia for you..and also why I REFUSE to take my little brother to the Annabelle movie.
I swear, I have a doll that looks just like that, and I will not have it ruined for me by a stupid movie where a doll claws your eyes out. I won't do it, I won't.

Life has been busy. Lot's of stuff going on. Stupid stuff I don't think I need to bother you with.

BUT, Olive has learned a new trick.. and it's SUPER annoying.

Last week, I'm laying in bed. It's midnight, so I'm sleeping! All of a sudden I take a paw to the face. Now I'm pissed.

"WHAT!" I yelled. Olive just looks at me. Then she just dives off the bed. Doesn't even use her stairs. Just takes a tumble on the floor and runs out the bedroom door into the kitchen.

I'm just sitting there staring. Wondering why I'm awake, what the meaning of life is, who came up with the concept of black Jesus... you know, normal things. She runs back into the room and jumps on the bed.
She's looking right at me, and she just DIVES off the bed again and runs away.

So I thought, "She wants me to follow her..." I get my lazy ass out of bed and see her sitting in the kitchen.

What happens next? She pushes her water bowl at me.

My dad decided it would be a good idea to feed her a BUNCH of bacon before we went to bed, and she's thirsty. Like anybody would be when they eat an entire pig.

So now, every now and again I get woken up at night because she needs to tell me something. It's just super okay for her to wake me up because she wants a bone, or her favorite toy is stuck under the couch, Timmy fell down the well, or she wants me to call the small mailman named Sam to come play with her.

LIKE I CARE AT 3AM WHAT OLIVE WANTS TO DO. That's been a new thing in our life. The dog has learned to communicate. She's evolving. I don't like it.

Anyway nothing else new. It rained this morning and I was reminded why I live in the scary "Hills Have Eyes" town. It smells AMAZING when it rains.

Fun Fact - I can't get insurance out here on my apartment because the fire danger is REAL. The insurance companies are just like "nope we don't service that area, you're all gonna die in a fire" so I have to just be okay with that.

The End.

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